Hello Beloved,
Let us begin this week’s newsletter by answering the question — is it possible to have healthy relationships? Before diving deeply, it is important to remember the usage of the word healthy refers to the quality of your choices and connections, which can occur whether your body is healthy or moving towards greater health on any level.
Of course, when pondering whether healthy relationships are even possible, the answer is yes, even though it may not always feel that way. Let’s explore why.
The primary reason why most people would say a healthy relationship isn’t possible is because they often find themselves in family structures, friendships, co-worker dynamics, and intimate partnerships, where the Universal objective is becoming a more balanced and empowered version of yourself within the framework of any given connection. This means the Universe often pairs you up with the exact characters that create environments and circumstances, where how you move through each facet of connection ensures a more balanced and empowered ‘you’ can emerge. As a more balanced and empowered expression of self has been birthed within you, an energetic signal is put out into the quantum field. It begins attracting others who can match and compliment the balance and empowerment you have taken the time to refine in other partnerships.
Sometimes the greater balance and empowerment you are discovering occurs through daring to be more specific and direct in your communication to create space for others to be responsible for their actions and feelings, instead of assuming it's your role to be responsible for everyone’s experiences. Some of you have done that communication work five times over. To such an extent that the remaining lessons of balance and empowerment are cultivated by moving beyond such connections. By parting with those who demonstrate through their words and actions how unmotivated they are to serve the fulfillment of your experience as you may have so graciously done for them. If in this type of predicament, it is essential to remember how constantly bending over backwards is not a beneficial form of yoga. It is how you give your power away to those whose potential gives you a greater sense of who they will one day be, instead of building healthy bonds and boundaries of empowerment with who someone is today. It can be a rather complex issue to navigate when dealing with parental figures or even adult children. There may be a long term pay-off to participating in one-sided connections. The question remains: is this connection adding or subtracting from my overall health and well-being? Even if its a relationship my heart just cannot part with, can I address the other relationships in my life to ensure I bring greater balance into my life to off-set the connections that are more difficult to navigate. As always, we are never telling you what to do, but offering you the inspiration to choose from your highest level of truth and empowerment. As always the choice is yours to make.
How do we become more empowered in romantic partnerships? Especially when the imbalance might be one partner more focused on communication and growth, when the other one sees a partnership as a guaranteed free pass to having their physical needs constantly met. One might say, ‘I might be more open to physical intimacy with the trust developed through communication and growth.’ Meanwhile, the other one might say in return, ‘How can I trust all this communication and growth is worth it, without seeing what’s in it for me?’ This can lead to a great rift in connection, where one walks away feeling like they are only seen as a physical object, while the other one feels they can’t say or do anything perfectly to ever be enough. Meanwhile, what both partners have in common is a need to prove the point that their feelings equally matter. This can create toxic households to live in, create ample opportunities for miscommunications to surface, and a lingering resentment shared by two hearts.
No matter which of these examples may ring true for any of your current partnerships, the remedy of transformation always begins with a moment of awareness.
In the first step of awareness, you deliberately create the space to determine:
'Will I become a more balanced and empowered me by changing the way I engage in this relationship? Or, is the balance, and empowerment I seek waiting for me to move beyond this never-ending spiral of confusion and enmeshment?'
Once you know, in awareness, whether you are being called to stay and grow or grow by going, the next step in transformation is acceptance. It is where you come into full acceptance that whether you are staying and growing or growing by going, it’s not often going to occur in a way that always pleases the desires of each person. Someone may disagree, have their feelings hurt, or even blame you for the feelings they have no interest in facing, feeling, or healing on any level. As awareness clears a pathway for you to see where you are being guided, can you accept that it is meant to unfold in the exact way it will be and only in a way that moves each person in the direction of their next lesson of greater balance and empowerment? Can you accept that for many in this world, the very catalyst they require to open up to the value of mutual respect, personal ethics, and to authentically resonate with balance over the instant gratification of carnal urges is often losing the very person, place, or thing they cling to as an external form of identity?
It is often why a partner can suddenly become a more redeeming version of themselves at the brink of losing their partner. While it may seem as if ‘they finally learned their lesson and woke up to what is important’, it can often be a temporary shift in order to win back the person like an object that defines them as a way of avoiding the despair of loss. Equally so, there are also examples of people’s eyes being opened, once the person they have objectified or taken for granted sees their next level of balance and empowerment exists in moving on versus staying put. As the lyrics of an 80’s song so poignantly says, all too often, ‘you don’t know what you got ‘till it's gone.’ It is why it is essential to love yourself more, not less, every step of the way — no matter how differently you hope things unfold.
In essence, relationships of any variety are an opportunity to partner up with others as a means of becoming a more balanced and empowered version of yourself. This can occur as a motivation of mutual expansion and up-leveling in healthy relationships. It can equally occur as a means of giving each person what they need to move toward greater balance and empowerment from within the confines of unhealthy, imbalanced, and disempowering interactions. If finding yourself in the latter, you may activate two of the primary steps of transformation.
Step One - Direct Awareness: ‘Am I being called to stay and grow or grow by going?’
Step Two - Deeper Acceptance: ‘Can I accept my heart’s desire, even if it is meant to unfold in a way that I cannot control or protect anyone’s heart from facing?’
Once a direct awareness of what to do has been seen and has moved you into a deeper acceptance that cannot control anyone’s experience within it, you are ready to begin moving out of patterns of imbalance and into new horizons of relationship health and empowerment.
For even more support in developing healthy relationships, please enjoy our brand-new YouTube video posted below.
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Sending so much love to your radiant beautiful heart as you navigate the wild wilderness of a brand-new world.
We love you.
All for Love,
Matt & Joy
Upcoming Events
Mastering the BrainGAME — Beginning March 31st
For the first time ever, We will be teaching each module live. Replays included. We recently re-vamped our BG page to clearly outline how this program is more than a course. It’s a step-by-step blueprint for life in a brand-new world.
We invite you to visit this page and step into the change you deserve:
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